End one panic attack, only to begin another.
The elec bill was paid today. So now, I spend the next three days trying to finish two weeks worth of work. My phone will be of by Thursday and my internet doesn't get turned on til the 1st.
Lol
It's always something.
At least this time, I can control it. Sort of

I have to find someone to borrow $220 from by Wednesday afternoon. Yeah.HUGE fucking deal. Otherwise, no electricity for us, no school for me. Mike will get my kids and I'm screwed.
Just as I thought things were looking up, here I am.
I didn't know we got our shut off notice already. Jody conviently forgot to show it to us. Chris doesn't get paid till NEXT Friday and I don't get my money from school until the 9th.
This is why I don't get excited about anything anymore. Something always freaking happens that puts me in my place.

Oh...
And congratulations! You deserve this!

School starts tomorrow.
I don't get my books until Tuesday. I hope hope hope Nicki has what I need to get me thru until then, because I'm having an anxiety attack over not starting out with what I need. Im worried that I'll have an assignmentthat I won't be able to do without the book. Blah.
It's bad enough that I don't have any kind of school supplies. None.
And no money. This is awesome. Lol

Ive asked chris to call and have Verizon turned on for us because I need the net,  and he hasn't yet. My phone is going to be off in a few days so I won't have the hot spot.

Elec is going to get shut off here soon too. Fuck.

Anxiety.

April 9 can't get here fast enough.
I do wish that I could have it deposited on my Wal-Mart card. That would make life easy.

I don't feel well. It's a sinus infection or something. I just hope it gets better by Monday.

Speaking of... I'm registered.
English Comp II
and
Social Psychology.
I'm nervous. And excited.
And sick.

I also officially submitted my declaration of major.
I'm after my bachelor's of arts in psychology.
U think that's what it said.

Sarah- I was trying to type this earlier.
College can be scary. Obviously. I hid from my schools website for a week because I was afraid I didn't get my financial aid.
They always seem to want something from us.
Transcripts. Identification. Passing grades. Hell, I've gotten close a few times to just offering them a pint or two of blood.
Not really. But you get the idea.
Anyway. It's scary and they ask a lot of us.
But it's worth it. I'm proud of you for getting as far as you have and I'll cross my fingers that it's smooth sailing for you from here on out. Its a big deal and it's hard to keep motivated but once your in...

I said it before but it's like the skies opened up for me. Life got better. I felt better.
I had a life outside of my horrible marriage and motherhood.
I was important. What I was doing felt important to me.
I just hope this works out for you I've hit the feeling it might help you.
Anyway. Im tired. And sick. I should be sleeping.

So I just tried to post. I set my phone down for a minute and when I came back to it,  it was all gone.
Fuck.
I'll try again in a few

It's pouring. I'm living the sound of it.
I'm having a little bit of 'pre-school anxiety. That kinda sucks.
I'm excited about Sarah looking into school. I wanna jump up and down and squeal like a child, and she hasn't even made the final decision yet.
You should, tho. It will give you less time to worry about things that you shouldn't worry about. It will give you something to do.
You can be like, 'alright jeff. Alright b/s MIL, I'm doing something more now. Time for you to help me around the house more. Before, it was my job. Now ii have my job,  AND school so fuck right off and pick up your slack. '
Maybe I got carried away with that but hey.
When I was in school before, it helped me.  A lot. It was almost an over night change in me. Seriously.
Do ittttt!
Nosey ppl. More later.

Sometimes, I wish I could lay my head on her shoulder, and have her hug me.
What I wouldn't give.....

I'm in applebees right now. Jody and Chris are in a job interview. Boring!  But I hope (at least) Chris gets the job.
We've been talking with Colleen lately. I think we're going to get a place with her. Split rent/bills, etc. I'm kinda looking forward to this.
I can't handle living with Jody anymore.
Chris and I just used our last little bit of money to pay the electric bill. Jody?  Had 100$ in his pocket and didn't offer a dime.
All he would offer was, "I've got a generator."
Yeah.... CPS wouldn't care to much about a generator.
He doesn't care. He's getting drunk,  spitting his dip in the floor, and not cleaning it up.
Just.... ugh. I can't handle it.

It's time. We can't be of any help to him anymore. It's no longer a win win situation for all of us.

I'm going to Larry and Waidas house today. Waida is letting me use her computer so that I can authenticate my identity. I can't go into the college, because it's located in Missouri. So, I have to get online in front of a webcam with my ID, and prove who I am.
I also have to do the orientation.

This place smells so good. I have to go home and eat before we go to larrys. Lol

Hungry.