So, I cannot figure out how to turn my notifications of during a phone call. It's annoying.  :(

I'm having an asthma attack and my shoulder hurts.
In watching my recorded Grey's Anatomy reruns.
I don't really feel like blogging right now Lol

I actually love my life. I do.
The only problem I have,  literally,  is figuring out how to get over the self hate issues I have. Nothing I do is good enough, not for me. There's something really wrong with that picture.

Ridiculous

If you're drunk by 10 am, there is a serious effing problem, and you need help.
I have never wanted to move so bad in my life.

Good morning

There will be no Grey's Anatomy on lifetime until tomorrow.  Suckyyyy.

I'm having a hard time with allergies right now.  Everything is yellow right now.  My nose proves it.

Today,  there is some kind of parent teacher conference at school for corrie. Teacher couldn't get hold of me because I had no phone Friday, so she called Mike. Mikehad no idea about anything.  No idea what time the conference is.  No idea what is about.  Nothing.  Sue is supposed to be calling them this morning.  Actually,  I think I'll call.
Otherwise I'll b have to ride with them to the school and go to a conference where Mike will pretend to be father of the year because he is so involved with them.  Ugh. Brb.

Yeah

I'm back.  Hope to get back to f reading and posting by tomorrow :-)

Grr

I can't breathe thru my nose.

That is all.

hopefully i keep a signal long enough to blog.
It's been a couple of days and I miss it now that I got back into it.

I've been thinking about school again. When we get our taxes back, I'm going to apply, but I am wondering if I should start my FAFSA now? I can't remember how that works. Tini?? Do I apply first and then do my fafsa or....? lol

I have pains in my back. Stabbing pains. Burning pains in the muscle all around my spine in between my shoulder blades. This is ridiculous!!!!

Jody was absolutely drunk yesterday. thankfully, he's almost out of money so he wont be able to drink much more. He's killing himself. His eyes are yellowing.. his leg and foot , well... they're really swollen and I can't even think of anything off the top of my head to compare it too. it's huge. huge.

He's going to cause him and chris to get fired though... and then we might as well be fucked.Chris will be able to get a job. He could probably go back to the lawn service he was originally at because he ran into his bosses nephew, who told him pat said he wished he didn't let him go, and sent an apology. But, that's only about 400 a week, and We cannot afford Jody's habits on top of our own, not to mention our own bills and such.

They are supposed to call their work in every day.
Jody got so drunk yesterday that he didn't do it, and then tried to play it off to boss man that he did.

tini, I got a bunch of your comments but things here are nutts. I can't remember what I tried to comment to you that autocorrect changed, or what post it was on. I'll have to go back in and re read I think.

You might want to tell your dad to say something to his tenants about staying out of the garage where the scooter is. IDK what they were doing, but they were in there yesterday.

I have to clean but I'm feeling so burnt out right now. I'd love a drink or two.
Says the awesome Forehand blooded alcoholic.

found out some stuff today that I really don't want to talk about. It fucks with my head and I don't know how to react to that. I just don't. Same thing: over and over and over again.
Energizer batteries much? I wish not.


I desperately need a  new computer. I can't turn this one off in fear of it not coming back on. I don't know what to do about that.

Lesson? Don't lie. No matter what. Just don't. Especially to me because trust is EVERYTHING and I can't handle the doubt in any situation. I'm not equipped for that.

Last Friday

So.. I can't blog from my computer right now. It won't turn on.
I'm going to try and post this from my phone but autocorrect sucks, so bare with me.
A while back, I had to block David Baldree from Facebook. He was commenting on every picture I posted, every status I posted, especially if he thought something was wrong with Chris and I. I pointed it out to Tini and I guess she even noticed (unless it was my imagination that she noticed) so I blocked him.
All was quiet again.

Fast forward to last Friday. I took a shower, flat ironed my hair so it would dry. It was cold outside and I didn't want to freeze.
I went outside a little after 2 in the afternoon.
Out of no where, this silver SUV thing shows up. I had never seen the thing before. I Had no idea who it was.
It parks, and out pops David.
He walks up, does the whole "hey how's it going thing" and he's just standing there.
I told him he could sit down do he does. Close enough UN front of me that my foot would touch his leg if I let it- but I didn't.
so, he's here and talking. I couldn't make eye contact with him, but I talked back.
During the conversation, about which I don't remember, he touches the inside of my leg, above my knee and he squeezed.
I sided in my chair so I was further out of reach.
Dude is like 6'10, an easy 300 pounds. Big guy and I am nervous. I should have asked him to leave but I was nervous.
He continues to talk and I'm chain smoking, looking at the time, because Mikey will be home at 3.
He asks how Chris and I are doing. I said good.. Probably better than ever. He asks what we've been doing. Says he wants a four Wheeler, blah blah. Asks how ours is doing, I said good, besides needing new tires.
He asks to look at it so I said sure, and showed it to him. I Stayed in the open, careful not to go anywhere that I couldn't be seen.
Hr says, wow, yeah, bald tires. I said yep and headed back towards my chair.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, and pulled me backward towards him. I was almost pulled off me feet, and then he pot his arms around me. I pulled away and continued to my chair.
He asks if I'm home alone. I lied and said no, pat is up stairs in her room.
He asks what I do all day. I said this is it. I do the house wife thing until I start school. But for now, I cook and clean, listen to music.
He says, I bet you dance too.  Said no. he said yeah you do, and proceeds to pull me up out of my chair with both hands. I fought it, stayed seated.
"I DON'T DANCE." "I even faked it at my wedding."
He says, "you've got the ass for it."
I begged Lisa to come over. I didn't think about pat getting home next door but in hind sight,  that would have messed up my lie about her being up stairs.
Then... Mikey came home. I felt better about it then... I wasn't alone. But then I got scared because it was Friday and the kids would be leaving. I got Mikey inside for a sec and told himto ask ex mother in law to stay for a little while (does this show how desperate I was?)
Then, pat saved me. She came over and sat down. It was then that David got a phone call and suddenly had to leave.

I was shaking. I don't know that I hedge ever been more scared in my life.
Maybe I sound ridiculous. idk. But I was afraid.

Who does that?

Ugh

I was going to blog, but I can't get my computer to turn on. :(